| Negotiations Craig A. Steffen
Children
have it in abundance. Teenagers hone it to a
fine art. Lawyers compete to see who has the
most of it. Our spouses wish we had more of
it. When we’re in trouble, we might even
practice it with God. But if we don’t
use it, we lose it.
Negotiation
skills are essential to our success in virtually every endeavor in our lives.
Nearly
every week we can find many examples of negotiations in the news. Typically they end up being news-worthy because
they have gone bad. Management vs. labor;
Nation vs. Nation; NHL players vs. team owners. Because
failed situations are what we hear most about, it is easy to conclude that these bad
examples are the model for how negotiations are done.
On
many occasions I have been called upon to assist companies in reviving a negotiation that
has reached a stalemate. In that process, I’ve
learned a few things about the process that keeps me, and the company, from ending up on
the evening news. Here are a few tips for
your next negotiation:
1. Learn
as much as you can about the person or company with whom you are negotiating. Understanding what is really important to them is
a key element to being able to think creatively toward a mutually acceptable solution.
2. Identify
all the areas on which you and the other party already agree. Verbalizing all the common ground and mutual
objectives first can make the areas of disagreement seem much less significant.
3. Strategically
prepare for the negotiations by anticipating how the other party will respond to your
position. Is there a way you can communicate
your position that is less likely to polarize the negotiation? Do you fully appreciate the other party’s
perspective? Until you can put yourself in
their shoes, you’re unlikely to be able to negotiate effectively.
4. Trust
is the most important element to a negotiated solution.
Be honest, speak the truth gently, follow through on what you have committed
to and don’t give the other party any reason to believe you are not trustworthy. If they don’t trust you, they’ll be
willing to spend months to try to get every minute detail in writing. If you don’t trust them, work on discussing
and understanding their behavior before negotiating.
5. Evaluate
your own situation carefully before beginning the negotiation process. Define for yourself the best-case scenario and
the worst. Somewhere in between these two
scenarios lies a possible negotiated solution. Don’t
get attached to a particular scenario. This
will be perceived as drawing a line in the sand, which is never conducive to making
progress in the negotiations.
6. Never
say no. Saying “no” stops the
negotiation process cold. You don’t have
to say yes unless you mean it, but instead of saying no, propose another path to
overcoming each impasse.
Take
time to truly LISTEN to what the other party has to say.
If possible, get them to talk first. During
this process, be attentive and endeavor to understand what’s truly important to them. Read between the lines. Sometimes what they say
they want is just their solution to a bigger problem.
Most problems have many different solutions; some of which may be more
acceptable to you than the one being proposed.
Most
of us have a tendency to practice a destructive form of multi-tasking during negotiations. We hear only enough to begin formulating our own
argument to it. Instead, focus all your
attention on listening and then take some time in silence to formulate your response
before you begin speaking. If the other party
sees you considering their words, they’re more likely to respect your reply.
Finally,
try to enjoy the process. There really is a
certain humor in the give and take of the process
Remember how cute it could seem when your child practiced their
negotiation skills at the dinner table? “How
many more bites …”
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